Tuesday, September 17, 2013

CANCER....SCHMANCER

SURPRISE I was diagnosed with Breast cancer in May. This may seem an insensitive way to hear this but please understand it's hard to tell dear friends what appears to be scary news. BTW, no one was more surprised than I was since I was the first in my family to get that diagnosis (over-achiever). It's now September and here's a quick catch up on my progress. I had two biopsies, 3 MRI's, a lumpectomy and am now going through radiation treatment at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NY. My breast haven't seen this much action in 15 years. I've been very lucky my tumor was very small. It was undetectable by touch and was discovered during a mammogram. I hadn't had one in four years mainly because no females in my family had breast cancer and I thought the chances of getting it were slim to none. I've learned a lot during this process that I want to share. I hope it's helpful: 1. Get mammograms when you're suppose to even if breast cancer isn't in your family. As you get older life catches up with you. In my case, being over-weight for so many years, smoking in my 20-40's and enjoying cocktails certainly could have contributed. I'm not blaming the victim here but lets be honest sure genetics play a huge part but so does lifestyle especially when the diagnosis comes later in life. 2. Get a second opinion. I did and the treatment plans were very different. I went with what was right for me. My plan involved less radiation and a different surgery. Don't be passive...be involved and question, question, question. My daughter went with me. She asked good questions and had a opinion about treatment...she wanted to Angelina Jolie me which wasn't the ultimate pick but I did investigate that as an option. For those of you who haven't had the consultation believe me she went through a very rough procedure. 3. Once the tumor was removed I was told "you're cancer free" what happens next is preventative. I didn't know that. Maybe I'm simple but I didn't know that. I"m having radiation to kill any potential cells that might be standing in wait. I didn't need chemo, I was very, very lucky. I'm really grateful for so much at this point. I have a great support system at home and on the job and good doctors. I don't feel sick although I know this is very serious. My first trip to Sloan Kettering I walked in ready for the fight. I turned the corner to the elevator and saw wheelchairs exited with women who obviously were getting chemo therapy. They too were fighting but their battle was far rougher than mine. Friday, I came out of the radiation room and looked to my left and saw a small child laying on a gurney looking so frail after treatment. There's a young woman in the waiting room that catches my attention anytime we are scheduled at the same time. She looks 15 but could be in her early 20's. She's lost her hair and wears a bandana. She has a beautiful face and is small and delicate of stature. She dresses simply in jeans and wears ballet slipper type shoes with one large jewel on the top. It's the shoes that make me think she's young. I imagine they're the one bright thing she looks at that makes her feel better during treatment. I've imagined her story. I'm waiting for the right time to talk to her if there is a right time. Today a woman came from treatment crying because someone she always visited with in the waiting room had died. The nurse was doing her best to comfort her. It's all of these little glimpse into others lives and treatment that wake me up. This is a bad disease. I want that young girl and that child to have the length of years I've been granted. I won't forget those images. It's heartbreaking to see the young go through this ordeal. It seems fair to take me on-- but so unfair to go after children. So Cancer ....Schmancer, it's just another of life's challenges. If you think this is rough you should work in syndication. That's it for now. BTW, the irony of the picture to the side of this post with me 70 lbs heavier having a cocktail isn't lost on me. I couldn't figure out how to change it. Damn technology.

2 comments:

  1. I will write a less public note to you, but as a fellow blog writer, I want to support you on your post. Marlaine- you are courageous and strong and resilient, and in your lifetime you have experienced and conquered so much. While I agree others have battles that seem worse and even more unfair, cancer is never fair and never easy. You are to be admired for your honesty and unguarded openness. Your observations are vivid and thorough- they give a perfect picture of your experiences. And your writing is as wry and self-deprecating as ever (I will never forget that first faux-Christmas letter) as well as thoughtful and insightful. I love you Mar, and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But you will get through it like you do everything else- with humor, strength, compassion and love. Surrounded by your family and friends. xxoo Lorri-lewski

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  2. Hi, My name is Emily and I had a quick question about your blog. If you get a chance could you please email me at emilywalsh688(at)gmail.com. Thanks!

    Emmy

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