NEW RULES

Wednesday, March 24, 2010
NEW RULES
I love the Hinsdale library. When I'm in IL working and spending time with my mother it's my escape. They have great computers and printers and I'm surrounded by books-- what could be better. There's been a cosmic shift at the library. I think a memo went out and I missed it. My quiet refuge has turned into a loud, unrecognizable place. I'm sitting across from a well dressed woman who I think might be a real estate agent. She's popping gum, tossing her larger than life purse from one side to the other. Periodically she calls out to the librarian for help. I think she sees this place as her private office and the librarian as her personal assistant. That would be offensive if it weren't for the fact that the badly dressed librarian is louder than the fake real estate lady. About one hour ago, 2 teenage girls were loudly dropping the F bomb while shouted to each other from two different computer stations. They were on a site on a live chat with guys while talking to others on their cell phones. One patron left in disgust after complaining about the girls. Yesterday a woman who I truly believe had Alzheimer's, singled me out for help. She was very loud and very confused and very sweet. She wanted to send a letter to the NY Times about health care reform, talk about irony, but she didn't have a clue how to use the computer. I did my best to help but it was a mind field of problems. She didn't know her library card number or her password or her email or that password and out of frustration, she finally gave up. I felt bad for her but since you only get 90 min of computer time and I'd used up 20 min with her, I had to cut her loose. It's now 6:40 PM, should be the dinner hour but its hopping at the Hinsdale library. The loud librarian continues her conversations with anyone who will listen. the couple to my right are talking up a storm and the fake real estate agent is still popping her gum and tossing her purse. I think I'm going to join the homeless man in the quiet room.

CANCER....SCHMANCER

SURPRISE I was diagnosed with Breast cancer in May. This may seem an insensitive way to hear this but please understand it's hard to tell dear friends what appears to be scary news. BTW, no one was more surprised than I was since I was the first in my family to get that diagnosis (over-achiever). It's now September and here's a quick catch up on my progress. I had two biopsies, 3 MRI's, a lumpectomy and am now going through radiation treatment at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NY. My breast haven't seen this much action in 15 years. I've been very lucky my tumor was very small. It was undetectable by touch and was discovered during a mammogram. I hadn't had one in four years mainly because no females in my family had breast cancer and I thought the chances of getting it were slim to none. I've learned a lot during this process that I want to share. I hope it's helpful: 1. Get mammograms when you're suppose to even if breast cancer isn't in your family. As you get older life catches up with you. In my case, being over-weight for so many years, smoking in my 20-40's and enjoying cocktails certainly could have contributed. I'm not blaming the victim here but lets be honest sure genetics play a huge part but so does lifestyle especially when the diagnosis comes later in life. 2. Get a second opinion. I did and the treatment plans were very different. I went with what was right for me. My plan involved less radiation and a different surgery. Don't be passive...be involved and question, question, question. My daughter went with me. She asked good questions and had a opinion about treatment...she wanted to Angelina Jolie me which wasn't the ultimate pick but I did investigate that as an option. For those of you who haven't had the consultation believe me she went through a very rough procedure. 3. Once the tumor was removed I was told "you're cancer free" what happens next is preventative. I didn't know that. Maybe I'm simple but I didn't know that. I"m having radiation to kill any potential cells that might be standing in wait. I didn't need chemo, I was very, very lucky. I'm really grateful for so much at this point. I have a great support system at home and on the job and good doctors. I don't feel sick although I know this is very serious. My first trip to Sloan Kettering I walked in ready for the fight. I turned the corner to the elevator and saw wheelchairs exited with women who obviously were getting chemo therapy. They too were fighting but their battle was far rougher than mine. Friday, I came out of the radiation room and looked to my left and saw a small child laying on a gurney looking so frail after treatment. There's a young woman in the waiting room that catches my attention anytime we are scheduled at the same time. She looks 15 but could be in her early 20's. She's lost her hair and wears a bandana. She has a beautiful face and is small and delicate of stature. She dresses simply in jeans and wears ballet slipper type shoes with one large jewel on the top. It's the shoes that make me think she's young. I imagine they're the one bright thing she looks at that makes her feel better during treatment. I've imagined her story. I'm waiting for the right time to talk to her if there is a right time. Today a woman came from treatment crying because someone she always visited with in the waiting room had died. The nurse was doing her best to comfort her. It's all of these little glimpse into others lives and treatment that wake me up. This is a bad disease. I want that young girl and that child to have the length of years I've been granted. I won't forget those images. It's heartbreaking to see the young go through this ordeal. It seems fair to take me on-- but so unfair to go after children. So Cancer ....Schmancer, it's just another of life's challenges. If you think this is rough you should work in syndication. That's it for now. BTW, the irony of the picture to the side of this post with me 70 lbs heavier having a cocktail isn't lost on me. I couldn't figure out how to change it. Damn technology.